Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Why I am not a Plumber

I've never seen a plumber smile while they are working [seeing them smile when they walk away with your check is not the same].

It's disgusting.

It's physically a pain.

It's mentally a pain.

It's emotionally a pain.

They are the butt of too many jokes.

No one wants to hug you when the job is done [unless you've had a chance to clean yourself up first].

Did I mention pain?

Care to add any of your own?

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Some Boys Never Learn

You would think that after more than 35 years of being a boy, I would learn a thing or two about what to do and what not to do.

Today I discovered that our cat had spent just a little too much time in our garage and was not able to get to her litter box in time. So what did she end up using... my open cordless drill carrying case. To make matters worse, I did not discover this until probably two weeks after the fact.

Fortunately, my cordless drill was not in the case... however, all my little attachments were. So in the spirit of boyness, I grabbed some lighter fluid [can you see where this is going?], dumped the contents onto the garage floor, struck a match, and viola! The first few seconds was kinda cool. Who doesn't love a good flammable liquid enhanced fire? Then the mold growing cat pee started to burn off.

That's when the stink came.

That's when reason should have set in.

That's when reason took a leave of absence and I poured more lighter fluid on.

That's when the stink got stinkier.

After all my years of scouting and putting out camp fires the manly way. I should have known what I was getting myself into.

But some boys never learn.