I have officially decided to remove the patent on being me...or at least allow for certain provisions. Now anyone, anywhere, anyplace...for a small nominal fee can apply to be me.
All parties interested must complete three short essay questions and submit them with a cashiers check made out to me for $99.99. All entries will be carefully screened, considered, and evaluated by me, myself and I. Only those that I/we deem worthy of such an honor will be issued a license to be me. Free and clear.
Please answer the following questions in 100-250 words [each]: