Tuesday, April 08, 2008


I have officially decided to remove the patent on being me...or at least allow for certain provisions. Now anyone, anywhere, anyplace...for a small nominal fee can apply to be me.

All parties interested must complete three short essay questions and submit them with a cashiers check made out to me for $99.99. All entries will be carefully screened, considered, and evaluated by me, myself and I. Only those that I/we deem worthy of such an honor will be issued a license to be me. Free and clear.

Please answer the following questions in 100-250 words [each]:

1. Why do you want to be me?

2. What do you hope to accomplish by being me?

3. Why does the sun rise?


Melody said...

1. Doesn't everyone have Lyle envy? You shouldn't have to ask why we want to be you ...

2. (My answer, ala Miss America contestant-ness) "I would bring world peace to all nations of the world by being you. I would do this by writing technical things and blogging about world peace."

3. The sun rises to allow laden and unladen African and European swallows to cross the infamous bridge, seen in Monte Python's Holy Grail. It rises for no other reason . . . except, possibly, to illuminate the Lyle-ness in all of us.

Lyle said...

melody- you're leaving everyone else in the dust. Surely you've intimidated the competition. I mean those answers are soooo good that I just might have to concede and bend a few rules.

Lucky Red Hen said...

1. Because you're smarter.

2. World domination (because I'll be smart enough to do so).

3. For the sunsets.