Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Lamp Post Speaks to Me


It all began a couple of months ago. Each day at work as I walked past it in the parking lot, it would rattle. At first I thought it was just the wind blowing, causing it vibrate in such a manner.

However, without fail, it is silent as the grave until I get within a few yards of it and then the rattling begins, by the time I get a few yards beyond it, the rattling stops.

So now I have this dilemma on my hands. Do I talk back to it? If so, do I try to mimic the rattling sounds? Do I just speak to it in English and hope it understands? Do I just give it the nod of my head [acknowledging it, but I’m in too much of a hurry to talk to you right now sort of way]? Do I go for non verbal communication and give it a hug? What if it’s a male lamp post? That would be uncomfortable for both of us. What if it’s female? Would that be the taking the path of infidelity?

So what’s the proper etiquette and protocol for such an occasion?

8 comments:

The Snow Family said...

I can't help you on the medium by which you should communicate with the lamp post, but when you figure out how to communicate with it, I know what you should say: "hello lamp post. Whattcha knowin'? I came to watch your flowers growin'. Ain't cha got no rhymes for me? Life, my love, all is groovy!"

mayday said...

I think ignoring it would be the absolute best solution.

Pappy Yokum said...

I think perhaps a visit with your local shrink is in order. Or maybe you may want to talk with Neil from "The Santa Clause", because at least he is used to talking to things that normally don't exist. :)

Actually, you needn't go to a shrink unless the whole parking lot of poles begin talking. Then you'll know you're having serious issues. (not that it has every happened to me.)

sue-donym said...

I was going to say hug, but I really like snow family's comment much better.

Is it too late to email me the obit of where I died? I would love to see the picture.

seesuegoatgmaildotcom

(wow when you type it out like that it looks like see sue goat.)

Mammy said...

I think you should take Lippi along. If Lippi does the normal "dog thing" on the pole, you know the pole is foe. If Lippi leaves the pole be, you know it's a friend. THEN you can decide how to communicate with the pole.

Lyle said...

snow- that has got to be a sure fire way to break the ice.

may- ignoring it? that seems so rude. I don't think I could handle it if the lamp post started to cry.

pappy- do you think he'd talk to me for free?

sue- it was just a small black-n-white in the paper.

mammy- construction sites excite lippi too much. I doubt he'd make it to the pole.

c jane said...

Get psychiatric help.

christopher clark said...

I read your posts as well, Lyle. I'm just a really crappy commenter.

I like that the lamp speaks to you. There is something very, very magical about Nebraska. It's a Cather thing.