Office Currency

What a sad state of affairs it can be when your place of work uses paper clips as a form of currency [for favors/services rendered].

...Fortunately we have not reached that point of desperation, yet.

Patent

I have officially decided to remove the patent on being me...or at least allow for certain provisions. Now anyone, anywhere, anyplace...for a small nominal fee can apply to be me.

All parties interested must complete three short essay questions and submit them with a cashiers check made out to me for $99.99. All entries will be carefully screened, considered, and evaluated by me, myself and I. Only those that I/we deem worthy of such an honor will be issued a license to be me. Free and clear.

Please answer the following questions in 100-250 words [each]:

1. Why do you want to be me?


2. What do you hope to accomplish by being me?


3. Why does the sun rise?