Monday, September 25, 2006

Degrees of Intolerance

Some interesting facts about Utah/Mormons that I heard last week while visiting a friend in another office in the English Building.

1. Utah is full of Mormons (this was said as an act of discouraging my friend from ever wanting to move to Utah)
2. Can’t buy beer in Utah (cause everyone who isn’t Mormon, drinks)
3. Can’t buy coffee in Utah (cause everyone who isn’t Mormon, drinks coffee)
4. Some Mormons own coffee makers (only Mormons are expected to live according to the teachings of their faith)
5. Mormon men have so many wives so they can choose which one they want to spend eternity with (Mormon men are selfish and horney) There is no difference between a Mormon and any “fundamentalist” Mormon.
6. Mormon women can only be saved through their husbands (who call them up from the grave) (apparently Mormon women are to be 100% submissive in all things, including death and resurrection, when they use the bathroom, what they y’all better sit down and zip it and wait your turn)
7. Mormons are buying up all the land around Warsaw, Illinois, which is upsetting the “local” folks (No one is forcing anyone to sell the land. How much of this land is being re-purchased after it was stolen from early Mormons in Illinois?)

With the exception of the last comment, I was able to correct and clarify these gems of information. This individual that was spouting off, was unaware that I was Mormon, and from Utah.

Come to find out, this fella that was a spoutin off, did all his younger days studying on religion, so now he’z the x-pert. He’z a sertifide, bonofide no-it-all.


~cari~ said...

Wow! It's interesting to hear that some people still think that way. Good thing you were there to clarify! Where do people come up with these things!?!

Pappy Yokum said...

Well, I guess if you aren't Mormon and you live in Utah, you might as well just convert since you won't be able to buy any beer or coffee!

Lyle said...

I apologize to anyone who tried to acceess my blog in the last 24 hours or so. Somehow, blogger had generated an error that wouldn't allow my blogger page to be displayed.

Pappy- Is that like when in Rome, do as the Romans do?

cari- perhaps he's a fifth or sixth generation, second cousin, twice removed, brother's friend's, sister's former roomate of Governor Boggs.

compulsive writer said...

You forgot my favorite. Mormon women aren't allowed to cut their hair without their husbands' permission (OK, so first draft I wrote "without their husband's permission" which would've been correct according to your friend anyway I guess).

And that lovely rumor was circulated by an educated woman who was raised here.

Lyle said...

For clarification, the story is about an office mate of my friend.

~j. said...

I know I'm late on this, but I just love the sign-holders on temple square during conference. More, I love those who join in for fun: ie, the big bearded guy in the pink bunny costume, holding a sign that reads: Hoppy to be Mormon

That makes it better.