Thursday, October 27, 2005

Halloween Robbers

As a favor to a friend. I post this picture of Rosie

This story was featured in Newsweek, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Daily Harald, Chicago Sun, and the National Enquirer. Because I have a friend that subscribes to each one of these, he gave me the heads up and the two of us are now in the process of notifying the nation to bring this alarming story to your attention and if we all band to gether and pick a day to not do any business with any lawyers, we can force them to succumb to our demands and leave the frivolous lawsuits to single-celled spineless avian flu viruses that are bound to wipe out at least 2/3rds of the world's population.

AP: Holoween Robbery
The fun of Halloween has been sucked dry by the now infamous Mrs. Schtick, of Salem California, who has officially filed a law suit against her neighbor. The suit basically explains two specific grievances. First, there is the complaint about how the scary music that her neighbor, Mr. Rapsody (now known as the defendant), was playing on the night of October 31, 2004 which caused Mrs. Schtick such undue anxiety that she was unable to sleep that night and as a result, it affected her ability to safely drive her kids to school the following morning in a responsible and alert manner, which of course, resulted in her crashing her car head-on into a parked school bus while it was in the process of unloading kids at the school (the drop off for the bus is a one way zone).

The second grievance is related to the panic attack she suffered when she went to Mr. Rapsody’s home (October 31, 2004) to complain about his scary music. She pressed his doorbell, which set off a loud buzzer and switched on a flood light simultaneously. She claims that she is now seeking therapy to help her overcome her now uncontrollable panic attacks when ever she hears a sudden loud noise (like when she crashed into the school bus and when the crash set off the horn in her vehicle, which I think caused her more embarrassment than anything).

Well it took her a year of lawyer searching and hatching out a plan to bring this lawsuit to court. Her day in court is set for this October 31, 2005. She is asking the courts for $1,250,000 (which she claims will help pay for her car and therapy sessions and all the other usual demands). So Happy Halloween everyone. Enjoy it while it lasts.


Brandon F. said...

This is the type of legal behavior is laughable! To emphasize with BYU editorial lingo "I'm shocked and appalled!" I absolutely hate lawyers who abuse the law and cater to frivolous lawsuit seekers who's only goal is financial gain.

I'm a microbiologist by education and I have a good explanation of why these types of lawsuits continue: Mutualism. Mutualism is when two different organsims come to depend on the other for survival. (In this case it's hard to decide who's the lower lifeform, but its clear they're both pretty low on the scale.) The mutualistic relationship between this breed of lawyers and the individuals who file these lawsuits evolved out of natural greed, which is, arguably, an inherent part of human nature. One group wants money because they're lazy, and the other group wants easy money because they aren't smart enough to do it honestly. You decide who's who.

The bottom line is this: as long as there are individuals in the population who have such a blatant disregard for the idea of "community" that they will turn on their nieghbors and friends for any reason, there will be lawyers out there willing to stretch the law to its breaking point to make a buck.

The only result of this type of behavior is anarchy -- every man for himself, can't trust anyone, only look out for yourself.

So sad...

Lyle said...

Thanks Brandon.
Mutualism! I should have known. I think I will have to start washing my hands more often.

Bird Flu or "Scum Sucking" Lawyers. Which is the bigger pandemic? (notice I do not place all lawyers into one basket