Time Speeds Up

Let us rewind to just a couple of days ago. The sun was bright, temperatures were warming up to the mid 60's and the young men were all color coordinated in red, ready to serve the Elders Quorum their first loss in the annual Turkey Bowl. Now these boys had been fixin for some time to dethrone those endowed with more strength and wisdom. They had even been meetin and practicing all week for the big game...even had their own play book.

The Mighty Goliaths were up 28-0 at the half and the young David's were scratching their heads and whimpering.

Now enters the whole "time" factor of the story. A 10 minute half time is nowhere near enough time for the older Goliaths to recuperate. We bravely suited up in our armor again, determined to finally put David and Co. to rest [the refs/High Priests had declared that any 35 point lead would end the game]. Let me add quickly that the youngins had suffered two minor injuries whereas we had encountered none. Our egos were in good shape.

Somehow, the strapping young lads started pulling a rabbit out of the hat in the form of two missionaries that were playing for them [to help even out the teams] These two Elders must have been quickened by the spirit cause there was no way to cover them down field. The score quickly became less and less lopsided. We continued to score but not at the same speed/rate as the young men and their newfound polished shafts, hidden in the quiver of the Lord.

All we had to do was hold out till 11:30. 11:15, the youngsters tied the game at 35. In a last ditched effort, we made our final drive and our quarterback threw for the 3rd interception of the game. With 5 minutes left on the clock, the YM could smell blood in the water. With humble pie ready to serve, both sides reluctantly swallowed at least one bite, four downs later as the tie stood its ground.

To end this tale, I must say that there is something about getting older that makes the ground seem further away and not nearly as soft as I recall from my younger days. Every fiber of my being aches like I had spent the day at the gym being trained by Gov. Arnold himself. Please do not sign me up for the hoeing contest with any prophets from this dispensation.

 

 

Dinner with a Friend

It took a few days for the media to quite down a bit after the most recent Bobby Knight incident. As such, I got my good pal Bobby to really open up last night as we shared some smoked briquette at his place. Can I just tell you, my kids totally adore “uncle Bobby”. Maybe it has something to do with the indoor pool, game room and the bottomless freezer of ice-cream. Who ever said, can’t buy me love? But I digress.

Our conversation went something like this:

LH: Bobby, you gotta stop finding ways to attract the media attention like stink on a monkey [unless it’s good news, like the time you donated your first two years salary to the Athletic program at Tech].

BK: I know. But it’s not like I intend for these things to happen. I’m very passionate about the game and get caught up in the moment. It’s like being moved upon by the spirit.

LH: Throwing chairs is kinda extreme.

BK: That was ages ago and my hands were sweaty.

LH: I seem to recall a head-but incident with one of your players a few years ago as well.

BK: Again, that was over and wrongly publicized. I was angry but not violent. I was walking over to have a few words with him when my contact fell out and for that brief second, I was blinded and stumbled, which caused our heads to collide.

LH: Why didn’t you explain that in the post game interview?

BK: Don’t you think I would have tried if I thought they would believe me? They were still riled up over the chair incident. Can’t these folks just let things go? Is anyone still complaining about Clinton and Monica?

LH: So, what really happened the other night? Some say you slapped him. To me it looked like a
old man with lightning fast reflexes getting a young punk to look him in the eye…

BK: You calling me old?

LH: Simmer down there friend. No, I don’t think you look old. You are older than I am though. Anyway, that’s what it looked like to me.

BK: You saw right. I hate talking to the top of someone’s head. He was feeling down on himself for the back to back fouls and I was hoping to instill the “eye of the tiger” in him. You really can’t do that unless you’re looking eye to eye.

So there you have it. Even among close friends, his story remains the same. The kid was not upset by BK’s actions; the parents weren’t upset; so why was everyone else upset? Cause it was Bobby Knight.

btw, thanks Bobby for dinner. It was superb as usual. Next week it will be at my house.

They're Baaaaaack!

Run for the hills folks! Wait a cotton pickin minute...we don’t have any hills. Well, run for it anyway. We are about to be overrun again.

Yes folks, it’s that time of year again. The Canadian geese are descending upon us again in droves. Just last week I had taken my five yr. old over to a neighbors house (about 10 blocks away) and on Golden Pond, there were only about a dozen or so of these feathery critters...the long term, permanent resident sort of bird. Not three hours later when I went to pick him up, there musta been at least 500 of the “wild” ferocious, untamed, eat all your bread and toddler too Canuks.

An Enigma

Riddle me this?

 

It’s legally of age.

Rarely present.

Completes no work.

Ignores sound advice.

?
? ?
? ?
? ? ?

Thanks for the Giving

Pappy Yokum –Thanks for the
Halloween tie collection…such a good son.

Complete Lo Down -Thanks for year
supply of highlighters and other school supplies

Reformed Pottymouth?- Thanks for
the rock climbing gear. If I ever find any rocks in Lubbock to climb, I’ll call
you.

Jolly Porter – Thanks for the
season passes. My wife thanks you too.

Oh, Judy! – Topher said it was
your idea, so thank you.

the Real executive – Thanks for
the Back to the Future box set.

Everyday I Write the Book – Thanks
for the year supply of potato pearls. I love those.

Ignore the Crazy- You are crazy to
give up your swan table for me, but thank you just the same.

Compulsive Tendencies- Thank you!
Finnish chocolate! The hard part is sharing with my kids.

~j –Any gift for my wiffy is a
gift for me. You’re so sweet.

C-Jane Blog – Thank you. The king
size sleeping bag will guarantee a cozy night or two, for two when we’re in the
wild or feeling wild.

I'm sew funny taking pictures –
Love the Harley jacket. Just gotta get me the bike to go with it. Thanks.

roi, rey, rei –Just one
question…How’d you know my size? Thanks, it’s just perfect for my laptop.

Dear Dairy...I mean Diary- Thanks.
The fly rod is fabulous…you weren’t in Jackson Hole recently were you?

Hey Jude! - An autographed
football by the entire SUU football team…a collectors item for sure

Curiously Short on Time -Gracias!
The new suit looks sharp, if I do say so myself.

Hammer Time – Getting Fed-ex to
foot the bill for all these deliveries…four stars baby!

Party Till You Drop

Happy blog birthday to me! Here's to another year. It was nearly a year ago that we went to this same (different design) corn maze.

I'd like to take a moment to thank my blogger father, The Jolly Porter For bringing me into the blogging world. I'd thank my blogging mother...if only I knew who she was. Can you tell me daddy?

In a fine order of a tradition and an attempt to not fall to far from my blogging tree (surely inherited from one of my blogging parents), I am willing to accept any and all gifts of a monetary value of $50 or more. Please do not send anything cheap or easily broken. I am willing to negotiate for family heirlooms and collector items. Do not send anything C.O.D. For those who may anticipate spending all their cold hard cash, therefore inhibiting their ability to pay for postage of my eagerly anticipated gift, can send money orders. Because Western Union is an international company, I will not accept excuses from bloggers in distant lands.

Yours Truly,

Lyle

Parenting 101

Readers,

How do you go about keeping a straight face when a child is having a fit and starts spouting off, (not making any sense,) and you know if you crack a smile or laugh, the child will get even further upset and be convinced that mom and dad do not love him/her?

Signed,

Parent waiting for child to cool down and listen to reason