Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Little Girl Solves Mystery...



Little girl solves mystery that has stumped scientist for ages! Yes folks, in a turn of unprecedented events. My own daughter has finally cracked the riddle of which came first, the chicken or the egg. With grace under pressure that only an innocent child can muster, she calmly, rationally and truthfully testified that the egg comes first. That’s right. The egg comes first. To back up her declaration, she replied, “You have eggs for breakfast and chicken for dinner.” We are anxiously awaiting a response from the representatives for the Nobel Prize. Martinelli's Sparkling Cider has been flowing non-stop for hours during the festive moments in our home. Not everyone can have a prodigy, so you’re welcome to claim that you know us.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

My Blogging Tree



In order to establish order, I will attempt to explain my connections or Blog pedigree. While I was still employed for the diamond company, I discovered that my supervisor was the cousin of The Jolly Porter (who I went to high school with and who was in the same grade as Lo Down) My supervisor told me to check out his cousin’s Blog cause it’s really funny. It was from the posted comments that I began to re-establish connections and make new ones. Please correct me if I make any mistakes in my connections and help me fill in the semantic and/or mental gaps. I think ~J has done a better job at making all the connections than I have.
Papai Yokum – Would be just one of my older brothers (the others have yet to play in the blogging world). He probably feels as old as his Blog namesake at times and dreams of a more carefree environment of Dogpatch, but his real persona is a complete opposite of Pappy.
The Lo Down – I’ve known Lo, since I was nine. We grew up together—in worlds apart. She’s a year older than I and was a girl for Pete’s sake. I had long since lost contact with her and her brother Dally News.
Confessions of a Pottymouth Mom- I’m not sure whose Blog I first encountered Sister Pottymouth. But hey, she was a friend of Lo Down’s so I jumped into her blogging melee.
the jolly porter –see explanation above. It’s all his fault that the rest of you can’t get rid of me.
oh, judy! - wife of the Jolly Porter, so by virtue of that relationship…besides, she lets people post to her Blog on a regular basis, unlike her husband who’s blog has to be aligned with the stars or fit into his teaching schedule.
the executive –I went to high school with the executive (same grade and all). I found him through a link of a link of a link and eventually saw him posting on a familiar site…it could have been yours.
Every Day I Write The Book – oh boy, another girl that I went to high school with who was a year older. Don’t get me wrong, I like girls, I just always felt intimidated by girls older than I was.
Ignore The Crazy - really good friends to Oh Judy. Enough said.
From the mixed-up files of a middle-aged mind - I believe I came to know Compulsive through Sister Potty Mouth.
~j – my closest connection to her is through Lo Down even though she also knows a few others on this list.
C-Jane - is a sister to the Jolly Porter. It’s possible we’ve met, but I would be surprised. There are other family members in the blogging universe; I just haven’t landed on those planets yet.

If anyone has felt left out, I apologize, I'm just not there yet....I'm working on it.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Waiting Game




We welcome you today to The Waiting Game, where you, yes you, will have a chance to sit and wait in the comfort of your own home as you count the minutes, nay hours, nay days, maybe even week— and for the bold of heart…months to find out the fate of yours truly. For our first round of waiting, we ask you to bite your nails and grab hold of the loved one sitting next to you as Puxameu waits in quite desperation (no breaking limbs or downcast faces) for the results of his MATC Portfolio review. Ladies and Gentlemen, if Puxameu receives a passing grade, he is practically guaranteed to advance to the next level. The level of Job Hunting. (Puxameu has already spent time applying to jobs locally and across the nation.) So he is off to a decent start, especially if he passes the Portfolio test. The Job Hunt wait is not for the faint of heart. You may be expected to wait for what may seem like eternities for the job to finally come to Puxameu. He will need every finger and toe crossed by everyone in our audience. Rub the Rosary, or belly of the chubby, fat bald statue dude if you’ve got them too. Never before in the history of this program have we presented you with this level of drama and suspense. Please, if you need assistance, reboot your computer, turn off the screen saver, and bookmark this page.

Like spinning the wheel of chance, hopefully fortune, Puxameu will become a household name with action figures to boot. We are accepting pre-orders now. Send cash or money orders immediately to Puxameu Inc.and we will think about sending you not just one, but two Puxameu action figures with built in pull string that says “Rock on Puxameu, Rock on Puxameu, give me a dollar. (sorry, no refunds available for any reason)