Friday, July 28, 2006

Mad Lib: Finished Product



Foiled Bank Robbery
When Pappy Yokum and John Wayne laundered the money nabbed in a bank robbery, authorities say, they took the literal approach - sticking some of the cash in a backpack to cleanse it of red dye from a special pack that exploded during the heist.

According to criminal complaints, the men stole $5,635 at gunpoint from a bank in Queens on Tuesday.

Referring to the packs of dye banks use to foil robbers by making stolen money unusable, Pappy Yokum told the tellers, "No dye packs," the complaints say.
No such luck. Authorities say that as the men were making off with the loot, a pack exploded, spraying much of the cash with red dye. The pair dropped about $30,000 on the sidewalk outside the bank, officials said, while more was left behind in the slimy car.

Digiosaffatte, 51, and Villanueva, 37, then boogied in to a motel, where authorities say they stuck the money in mesh ventriliquits used to wash moist clothing.
"They must've washed it seven times because the bills were washed out and looked squeezy," said Sgt. Robert Young, commander of the FBI and New York Police Department's Joint Bank Robbery Task Force.

Using buklava of the area who matched the robbers' descriptions, authorities caught up with Yokum and Wayne, who were arrested on Thursday.
The men were ordered held without bail at their arraignment on Friday.

The original story can be found here:

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Introducing my Mad Lib for the Blog.


I have randomly picked a story from the WWW. And now I need your help in fixing the story. I am in need of 10 words (see below) from my readers. Please share by filling in only a single “blank”, (as a comment) thus allowing others the chance to play.

When I have all ten words I will post the “New” Story.

Words needed:

1. Name
2. Name
3. Number
4. Adjective
5. Verb- past tense
6. Pl noun
7. Adjective
8. Number
9. Adjective
10. Noun

Monday, July 10, 2006

Everything is Bigger in Texas

It's true. Everything in Texas is bigger. So in honor of the the upcoming release of the latest movie version of E.B. White's book, I give you this.





Even though it is just a wolf spider and doesn't spin webs, it's still hideous.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Let the Masses Speak


In hopes of hearing more from my readers than from myself, at the sake of lost vanity, I propose the following thread of conversation:
Ya know you’re outside of Utah, when....

1.You’re a sister missionary who is sick and the doctor asks if you’re pregnant. Upon adamant denial, he still orders a blood test to verify your claims.

2.(Your part goes here....)

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Fairy Lu Finds a Friend


News flash! Cats love small critters that are smaller than they are, whether it is for play, or food, or both. Surprised? I didn’t think so.

So you see, our cat discovered a little lizard this morning and brought it to our back porch [(still alive and apparent good condition) minus a short piece of tail that had been broken/chewed off]. I gently picked up the lizard, brought it inside, and placed it inside the protective care of a mason jar. I’m sure you can hear the kids now, “Oh, can we keep it?” I figured, that it would be cool for the kids to observe a lizard and told them that we would go buy one of them do-hickey containers for reptiles, (the cheap plastic kind) once they finished their chores.

Later this afternoon, we piled the brood into the mini-van and beat feet to the local PetSmart. With lizard abode in tow and a bag full of small crickets, we headed home....Our kids wanted to name our new found pet and because we were unsure as to the gender, we settled for Meninos (Portuguese for little ones)

Upon our arrival, we entered the kitchen to find 1,000,000,000,000,000 pieces of broken mason jar on the floor and a poor, almost dead lizard not quite 10 feet away from the point of impact. I quickly shooed the kids back out the door, along with one un-repentant cat as I commenced cleaning up the mess. By the time I was finished cleaning up the mess, Meninos had become acquainted with Fairy Lu the Fish. Without burial, toilet express, or parting words, I un-ceremoniously dropped Meninos into the trash and chalked up another one for ignored warnings in my head (put the lizard where the cat can’t get it).

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Caprock Canyon and Steel Buffalo

Dear Readers,

I recently returned from the official Father and Sons outing for our ward. Now in West Texas, there is not an abundance of pristine campsites, therefore, Caprock Canyon State Park became the designated area (about 1 ½ hours northeast of Lubbock).

I began by gathering the camping supplies: tent, sleeping bags, Coleman stove from the attic, and goodies galore from the supermarket. Rhonda had a rendezvous earlier in the afternoon, so we got a semi-late start...about 5:00pm.

I could sing praises to MapQuest, for she led our horse to the watering hole with only one momentary hitch...on my part, as I was trying to read road signs. This was the first time ever I had to rely on MapQuest for directions to a Father and Sons.

We pulled into the state park and paid our camping fee.... “Uh, we're with a larger party” I muttered. The kind lady behind the counter asked, “Part of the church group?” “Yes’m”. She then politely pulled out a map of the area and pointed me in the direction of our reserved campground. Really close to the entrance of the campground is a lake, and I thought to myself, good thing I brought my fishing pole...now if I can just wake the boys early enough to take em with me. (BTW, I had boys # 1 & 2 with me, the youngest stayed home with mom and the daughter.)

Just beyond the lake was the buffalo. Steel buffalo. 2-D, steel plate cutouts, all posing like the real thing. (We were told that a real herd lives somewhere in the park, but they remained elusive.) About 3 miles further up the road we found our campsite. Having been a scout and having been to lots of campsites, this site left a lot to be desired. It was hot, dusty, windy, lacking shade, cactusy, and very anty. Big ants, small ants and even a roadrunner for a mascot. We found a spot barely big enough for our tent and pitched it atop the fewest ants possible. We were told that as many as 28 people were planning on showing up. When we arrived, we brought the total to nine (only one other was an adult). We fixed a dinner of chili-cheese dogs, chips and ready made punch from the store. Dinner was good, when the wind wasn’t blowing the plates away. After dinner, three more people showed up and at twelve strong we stayed. It soon became dark and we busted out the making for some s’mores. S’mores galore, enough for 28 people being consumed by 12. By this time my boys were tired and we went to bed. Also about this time, the wind increased in force.... and a thunder storm was fast approaching.............

The wind howled and jostled the tent and the temperatures stayed hot. Sleep would not come for me. As the storm increased in its fury, to where we felt more like a rag doll in the teeth of a pit-bull, both kids woke up and explained that they were scared. I then proceeded to pack one kid on my back and the other in front of me as I carted them to the van. I turned on the dome lights, put in some kid music, told them I would take down our camp as quickly as possible and locked the door. In my own frenzied fury, I took down what the wind had not, of the tent, and threw it into the back of the van. I pulled out of the campsite 2:23 am. Driving home in the dark, on unfamiliar roads, roads that had been rained upon by this storm, can be a real treat. However, the trip home went without a hitch and we pulled into the garage a bit past 4:00. Come to find out the wife and daughter had also been up late, our daughter fearing for our safety because Lubbock found itself in the path of the thunderstorm. Tired and exhausted, we climbed into bed for a few hours of shut-eye. By 11:30am the entire house hold was down for the count as the sandman made a complimentary second round.



As a bonus, I have included a Loch Nessish monster picture of the elusive roadrunner from the campout.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Seven 7's as Requested and Promised

1. 7 Things I’d like to do before I die
Find a job
Retire
Tour historic Church sites
Take my wife to Brazil
Serve a mission with my wife
Write a book
Repent

2. 7 Things I cannot do
Play an instrument
Back handsprings
Eat beets, cauliflower, or asparagus
Curl my hair
Speak, read or understand French
Algebra or beyond
Snow ski

3. 7 Things that attracted me to my spouse
Her money
Her forward flirtiness
Her kindness
Her ability to keep me on the straight and narrow
Her dancing and musical talent
Her smile
Her friends
Her modesty

4. 7 Things I say often
I love you
Oh really?
Wasn’t Me!
Thanks for choosing the Hayes’. Will this be take out or delivery?
Vêm ca menino
Speak now or forever eat your peas
Kids, your pop-tarts are ready!

5. 7 Books (series)I love
BOM
LOR trilogy
Work and the Glory
Dragonlance series
Shanara Series
Harry Potter
Crime and Punishment

6. 7 Movies I could watch over and over
LOR trilogy
The Best Two Years
Send Me no Flowers
Back to the Future
The Incredibles
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Rocket Man

7. 7 (Actually it’s only five, but who’s counting?) People from whom I would like to hear 7’s from...but will never happen because my blogging world is too small.
Sonny
Bob
Carlos
Kevin
Steve

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