Help! I’ve Been Tagged and Can’t Get Past Go.

Thanks to a certain fellow blogger who will remain anonymous, but for the sake of the conversation I will refer to her as Sister P. No . . . S. Pottymouth. She has tagged my blog which means I have to list 5 things people probably do not know about me and then I have to tag 5 other people. My problem is- I do not know 5 other bloggers. But in the spirit of semi-good humor, here is my list:

1. I know where the Bedrock mall is and have actually been there.

2. Turtle taste good. Just don’t ask me how to prepare it.

3. Like the person who tagged me, I have never been snow skiing even though I spent almost 30 years in Utah.

4. When I was 10, I performed during halftime at a BYU basketball game.

5. I have been to Hogwarts Castle.

For Compulsive Writer and anyone else: Perhaps this act of kindness will get me out of "tagged" mode. ;-)

"V" is not for Victory

For some, (such as Disney) the sky may be falling, but in my life, the sky is alive and moving. The annual migration of the Canadian goose makes Lubbock, Texas “a must see” on their journey. I have never seen so many geese in my life. I think perhaps the promises of Abraham have fallen upon their seed. For weeks now, the geese have been flying this way and that, to and fro, honking the whole time. Lubbock does have a plethora of ponds and llanos scattered all over the valley, which I’m sure is a big attraction to these water fowl. We have pictures of the pond across the street from where our children go to school that show “standing room only” for the geese. As soon as one flock moves out, another takes their place. I’ve been told that a great number of these honkers like to cut their travel plans short and make Lubbock their winter home. I have yet to decide if this is a cool thing or an annoyance. If it turns out to be an annoyance, I’m sure you’ll hear about it.
(each little speck in the picture is a goose)



(Mission accomplished)

Idle hands and the Devil

Once again the devil has sought control of my idle hands, as I found myself making another pointless, high-in-sugar morsel. This time, the end product of my idle hands and the devil was the infamous Rice Crispy treat(s). Some say that the devil knows our weaknesses and I am here to testify that he does. For whenever I find myself on such occasions as this, the sweet cravings are the call of the siren and my hands become subject to the control of superhuman powers. Last time it was chocolate chip cookies and the time before that it was the crème-de-la crème, the made famous by thousands of missionaries in the MTC: The Captain-Crunch-Berry treats. Anyone who has ever had them, knows that the aforementioned Rice Crispy treats are like comparing Transformers to Go-Bots, MP3’s to eight track . . .

So now I have all of these Rice Crispy treats with a longing desire for the treat of supremacy, and I’m sure that I can force myself to do more than my share to put them away like a quarter-pounder with cheese, but I have this fear lurking in the back of my mind telling me that before the night is through, I’ll be making tapioca pudding. Are there any support groups or advice on the internet that I can turn to in hopes of liberating myself from this compelling power?

Signed,

Please help: before I find myself licking the Dumb-Dumb residue from sucker sticks carelessly thrown on the ground.

Wandering

Not only does my mind wander from time to time but so does my family when they are lost in a corn maize.
Tips for taking young kids to a corn maze:
Never go at night. You will hear too much complaining about being lost and can't see, and I am tired. or I am cold. (this depends on time of year and where the maze is located)

Oh what fun sour cream can be 

Buy a House and We'll Give you Cookies

Being part of a new neighborhood brings with it certain time-tested traditions or obligations. In specific terms, I am referring to the congenial tasks of taking a “baked good” to other neighbors. Having moved into a new/still being constructed neighborhood and being one of the first residents, it has been a challenge to find that opportune moment when both parties involved in the exchange of pleasantries are present.

Last Sunday, I began pulling items out of the pantry, fridge and cupboard to gather together the elite components for making chocolate chip cookies. I mean, what better “baked good” is there to use when introducing your family to strangers? If aliens landed on Earth (in the US) I’m sure the government’s first response would be to shanghai Mrs. Fields or the Pillsbury Doughboy into the Whitehouse to mix up a batch of chocolate chip cookies to present to the newfound neighbors. It would not even be too far fetched to assume that the aliens just might have their own space-alien chocolate chip cookies for us to eat. (We all saw E.T.’s reaction to the Reese’s Pieces and those were mostly peanut-butter flavored) Do you think he would have left Earth had Eliot dropped chocolate chips in the forest instead?

So there I was measuring out my sugar, butter, vanilla, flour, etc. thinking to myself, “These are gonna be great!” In went the whole bag of chips (milk chocolate, can’t stand the semi-sweet: let’s keep it real) into the mix. Several minutes later, out came those, oh so hot, sweet and gooey chocolate chip cookies that just beg for an ice cold glass of milk to go with them.

After they had a chance to cool slightly and sampled properly for approval, we placed some on the traditional disposable plate and covered them with plastic. We rounded up the kids, got them in their shoes and herded them out the door and down the street. Much to our dismay, the intended target was not at home. We returned the plate of offering into the basket beneath the stroller and proceeded to another street in hopes of finding someone that had moved in. On the next street over, we saw a car parked in a driveway. We had hope! A lady exited the house and proceeded to walk in our direction. We quickly exchanged formalities and discovered that she and her husband were just looking at houses in the neighborhood. We wished her well as she turned away and our nine year old daughter called out to her, “If you buy a house, we’ll give you some cookies!” Another testament to “kids say the darnedest things”. We just hope the lady was too far away to have heard because otherwise we would probably have all sorts of new neighbors, including ones from outer space, lined up outside our door waiting for their plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Now pass the milk. Please!

Halloween Robbers

As a favor to a friend. I post this picture of Rosie

This story was featured in Newsweek, USA Today, The Washington Post, The Daily Harald, Chicago Sun, and the National Enquirer. Because I have a friend that subscribes to each one of these, he gave me the heads up and the two of us are now in the process of notifying the nation to bring this alarming story to your attention and if we all band to gether and pick a day to not do any business with any lawyers, we can force them to succumb to our demands and leave the frivolous lawsuits to single-celled spineless avian flu viruses that are bound to wipe out at least 2/3rds of the world's population.

AP: Holoween Robbery
The fun of Halloween has been sucked dry by the now infamous Mrs. Schtick, of Salem California, who has officially filed a law suit against her neighbor. The suit basically explains two specific grievances. First, there is the complaint about how the scary music that her neighbor, Mr. Rapsody (now known as the defendant), was playing on the night of October 31, 2004 which caused Mrs. Schtick such undue anxiety that she was unable to sleep that night and as a result, it affected her ability to safely drive her kids to school the following morning in a responsible and alert manner, which of course, resulted in her crashing her car head-on into a parked school bus while it was in the process of unloading kids at the school (the drop off for the bus is a one way zone).

The second grievance is related to the panic attack she suffered when she went to Mr. Rapsody’s home (October 31, 2004) to complain about his scary music. She pressed his doorbell, which set off a loud buzzer and switched on a flood light simultaneously. She claims that she is now seeking therapy to help her overcome her now uncontrollable panic attacks when ever she hears a sudden loud noise (like when she crashed into the school bus and when the crash set off the horn in her vehicle, which I think caused her more embarrassment than anything).

Well it took her a year of lawyer searching and hatching out a plan to bring this lawsuit to court. Her day in court is set for this October 31, 2005. She is asking the courts for $1,250,000 (which she claims will help pay for her car and therapy sessions and all the other usual demands). So Happy Halloween everyone. Enjoy it while it lasts.